He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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