The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
