ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
