guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
