We won't sleep together?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
