brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
