so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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