it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
