I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
