where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
