i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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