So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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