no, he came in my armpit
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize