is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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