Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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