i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
