Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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