I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
