i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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