One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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