we're blogging at a bar
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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