What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
