I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We had to coat check the pizza.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
