3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
