I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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