Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
