he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
