You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
