And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
