go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
