I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize