I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
