I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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