3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
a search helicopter?!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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