last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
