We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
