this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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