I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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