Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize