You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
