Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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