Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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