i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
