This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
