I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
