Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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