I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
