Say something about gay babies.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
