I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
