i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
