Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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