So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
