sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
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