You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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