At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
