Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
