i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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